Family

As I grow older, I become more concerned with the status of my family. My grandmother is deteriorating right in front of us. My oldest aunt is trying her best as her caretaker but it is truly a job that is way over her head. Yesterday, Christmas Day, I was introduced to the mass confusion and sadness that has become their life. I sadly wondered if my grandma has lost her mind. She pooped but reached inside diaper and stuck her hand in it! I kept smelling something and wondered why no one else noticed the strong smell. I happened to look into her room and her hand was covered and she was sort of testing the consistency of the poop out squeezing it in her hand.

I was so shocked! This is not the woman who raised me. She has become a child again it seems. I can't even communicate with her because she tries to speak but all I hear is mumbles. I'm afraid to be near her. I feel so ashamed of myself and mostly because I fear that I will end up that way. I don't want my daughter to have to put up with that from me. The thing is my aunt doesn't want to but her in a nursing home. I understand why cause there have been so many reports about elderly people being abused but the state of the household is like madness. I don't know how I can help considering I don't like to be around anymore.

What kind of granddaughter am I. I just needed to vent about it. I could not even imagine how to answer my questions.

Until next time