Well

Well, it has been a while since I made it back here. Nothing has changed as usual. I'm still lonely, unhappy and broke. I did get a bit of good news. The little one passed her pass or fail test so all she has to do is maintain her grades and she will be a 4th grader. She actually did way better than I thought. I didn't really have expectations for her just for her to do her best and she did it so I'm really proud of her. I got my test results back and I'm in the clear on my sort of health scare. I thought I was years closer to a cervial cancer than expected but the tests cleared me so that was a weight off my mind. Other than that, things were back to normal as usual. The little one didn't want to do her homework, she took her time as usual, I restrained myself from yelling like I normally do but I could feel my stomach burning from holding back. I just balanced my checkbook and it is looking bleak!!!! I am just so over my head. I thought I was flush after we got our little bonuses and I put money in my savings. Well, I will be dipping back into it come next week or two to pay the bills. I guess I should be thankful I have some savings to dip into to keep us afloat. It's my own damn fault I am faltering after buying this house and it turned out to be a lemon; an expensive lemon that I can't seem to maintain. I need an attitude adjustment. I want to look at life positively and with hope and love and all that other bull crap but I just feel worn out. I'll be 40 this summer and I was supposed to be fit and fabulous but have I done anything to change the situation? No, I just sit on my ass and whine and complain to myself. Yes, to myself cause I don't have anyone to talk to. I have made so many mistakes and I just don't know I to backpedal or move forward and turn the frown upside down to make shit better. I'm tired of complaining to myself so I done. No one is going to read this crap anyway so
peace...